Nope. Nope I cannot bring myself to try to convince you that you need knitted tentacles in your life. This is not the sort of belief anyone is persuaded to hold. Either you come to know of the existence, nay the mere possibility, of knitted tentacles and you are instantly and inescapably gripped by the urge to make an entire swarm of them. Or you are not.

And either response is absolutely fine! You can live a full and happy life never once holding a knitted tentacle in your hand—never once bending it just so and using it to display your favorite bit of driftwood or pressing it into service as the perfect paperweight turned pen holder or having it stand guard over your very favorite shells and rocks and tiny treasures. I’m absolutely sure you can go about your day without ever indulging in such flights of fancy.

I, however, am not nearly so stoic or respectable. And I confess, I look forward to seeing what my fellow reprobates create once the more respectable folks have left the room.

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